THE DAPPER GROOMSMAN

 

 

 

(This is me in my dapper three piece suit. Don't I look fancy?)

 

 

This blog will be dedicated to all the future groomsman of the world. Nearly every man will at some time in their life be asked to be a part of a wedding party. This is especially true if you are in your twenties or early thirties when all your friends are coming to the age of adult hood where they step out and begin to find their soul mates. If you are one of those friends who are honored with these duties I would like to give some frugal advice on how to turn your duties of friendship into a reward of your own. 

 
So recently two of my dearest friends have decided to get married, and asked me to be a part of their wedding as one of their groomsman. I was quite honored to be asked, and I felt obliged to join in on the wedding party since I was the person who introduced them. I introduced them on the set of my college senior thesis, and I had cast them as two characters that were in love with one another. In one of those twists of fate where life begins to imitate art they began to date each other in real life. I tell this story to you today to discuss how you can turn a groomsman invitation into an opportunity to pick up an affordable dress suit or tuxedo for yourself.

 
Hopefully the couple that asks you to join their wedding has good sense and good taste. I was fortunate enough to have friends that have those qualities. As a groomsman you have no real say over what you're going to be wearing down the aisle, but if you are chosen to be a part of the wedding party suggest to the bridal couple that you would prefer to buy a suit rather than rent one. On average it costs about $150 to $165 dollars just to rent a suit. If you're getting a rental it's likely not going to fit you perfectly and you're going to look very awkward wearing an ill-fitting suit in the wedding. I use to work for a tuxedo company in my youth, and I know those companies hire kids from high school to put the tuxedo orders together.

 
Here are some interesting things to know about the tuxedo rental business.  As a former insider to the industry, I will inform you that if they don't have your size in stock they grab the next closest thing they have to your requested size.  The shirt will either be too small or too large, which will be an ill-fitting garment sent out to the wedding party. The shoes are disgusting, and you would be utterly shocked as to how some of the tuxedos are returned. I remember pulling out tuxedos with vomit stains all over them. Those same vomit stained coats and shirts were sent to the cleaners and returned a few days later to be rented out to the next poor schmuck who would have the pleasure of wearing the "vomit' tuxedo. I am happy to report that the tuxedo place I worked for as a teen went out of business a few years after my departure.

 
So if you don't want to wear some ill-fitting suit or some "vomit" tuxedo, do yourself and your future self a favor and spend the extra $50 to $100 and purchase your own suit.  A man can never really have too many suits so don't fret over the purchase. Many companies that sell suits offer discount prices to wedding parties, and several of them offer buy one get one half off sells year round. Have the bridal couple take advantage of those deals. That way everyone in the groomsman party can take advantage of an opportunity to save some money, and get something nice to keep for themselves.

 
My friends and I purchased our suits from Men's Wearhouse where we were offered excellent support and accommodations. The bridal couple decided on a three piece dark grey suit. We were allowed to wear our own white oxford shirts, and the couple provided us with expensive ties and handkerchiefs as a part of our wedding gift. We each spent $200 on our suits, and I spent an additional $50 on tailoring services. If you are an average height you don't have to spend as much on tailoring, but unfortunately I do not have that kind of opportunity. So for $250 I have a very nice dark grey 3 piece suit that I can hang in my closet, and wear to any future formal events I may have to attend.

 

 

(Above: I recreated this outfit from a GQ article and wore it to my ten year class reunion.)

 

 

(Here are some examples that I pulled from Pinterest that showcase different ways you can reuse your suit to create other outfits.)

 

 

Since it is a 3 piece grey suit I can wear my vest with an oxford shirt and a pair of jeans, and pull off a sophisticated dapper casual look. I can also take the grey suit jacket and wear it with either a pair of chinos or dark denim jeans to make other casual looks. So for a mere $250 I can add this suit to my wardrobe and use it as a versatile garment that gives me numerous other uses.  

 

 

(Here's me with the handsome groom and beautiful bride.)  

 

The Bond Look for Less (Skyfall edition)

The Bond Look for Less: Skyfall Edition 

Ok, I just want to admit up front that I didn't create this above image. I found this on the interweb, and I thought it was a great image to write about. This image is exactly the kind of things I wish to discuss about in my Blog. The iconic grey suit that Sean Connery made so famous has become a fashion icon, and a "go to" color suit that every gentleman should own. It's become an absolute classic iconic look that everybody likes and loves.  Everything in this image is classic and refined. So I'll break down the information about where to find items like the above image. 

The Suit: 

The great thing is that you can easily find a grey suit at nearly every men's department store. Macy's has one pictured in the image for $100. I just saw a similar suit like this one for $100 at Burlington Coat factory last weekend. J.Crew carries one for $600 and Banana Republic had a fine line of suits in it's 2013 Mad Men collection that was rather affordable. They have discontinued the line at the moment, but they still sell reasonably priced grey suits.   

The Shoes: 

The Bostonians pictured above are fantastic affordable shoes. I've actually owned a few pair of Bostonians myself, and they held up very well over several years. If you go to Shoestation at the end of the season you can usually find a pair for much cheaper than $160. I would also check out Designer Shoe Warehouse ( DSW) for more affordable options. Aldo is another store that has nice affordable shoes. 

The Watch:

Again the above picture  is a much more frugal option than an Omega Seamaster. I would suggest finding a Fossil outlet store near you, and they offer great watches for under $100 year round. Kohl's and many other department stores can offer similar cheap watches, as well, that still look like luxury watches. 

I love watches, and I will write more articles about them at a later time. 

The Shirt: 

It's a light blue shirt that can be picked up at nearly any men's store. Kohl's price is a fantastic choice, and I recommend you hit up TJ Maxx and Marshall's to find one at the same price or slightly cheaper. Wide spread smaller collars are the current trend at the moment so be careful about the size collar you get. The over larged ones were so 1990s, and will date your look so look out for those. 

The Tie: 

The Tie Bar offers some of the best deals on ties out there. I have constantly seen their ties in GQ and Esquire magazines. I shop for my ties at Marshall's, Burlington Coat Factory, and TJ Maxx. My hometown area of the Gulf Coast  has a chain of Treasure Hunt stores that gets name brand items for dirt cheap. I have racked up numerous expensive ties there for $6. I highly recommend this store if you want quality items for next to nothing. 

Handkerchief:

Ok, the one in the picture is from Target and that's probably going to be one of the best places to find it for cheap. I shop for my handkerchiefs at Marshall's, Burlington Coat Factory, JC Penny's, and TJ Maxx.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

In the movie, GoldenEye (1995) James Bond is equipped with an ordinary looking pen, but it's actually a special pen that can explode after a certain series of pen clicks.  I decided to write this post, because the pen is actually one of the cheapest and easiest items to acquire from any of the James Bond films. The pen in review is a Parker Jotter ball point pen. Parker actually made a limited series edition set at the time of the movie and it was available in a unique 007 gift box. Sadly, it is difficult to find one of these today, but Parker still makes the same pen. You can purchase them at just about any office supply store.  It's a stainless steel pen that actually writes very well. It will only set you back about $8 to $13 dollars depending on where you buy it. It's not the most luxurious pen you can buy, but it really does look like an expensive pen. 

This is a Parker Jotter pen, and is the same style pen used in the GoldenEye film. ( cost $8 to $12) 

This is a selection of a few other Parker pens. The one with the black polish was used in the recent James Bond film, Skyfall. You can see it sitting on M's (Judy Dench) desk in the MI6 office during the office scenes. 

If you are wondering why you should waste your money on a pen when you can easily use a much cheaper one, I'll tell you why. I mean this blog is about being frugal, but it is also about having luxurious items that anyone can afford. The reason I invested in my own Parker Jotter is that I wanted to have a nice looking pen for when I meet for job interviews, clients, and prospective clients. The Devil is truly in the details. If there is one thing that I learned in all my college years it is this, details are extremely important. Details, even the little ones, help define a circumstance or a person. A nice looking pen says that the owner of the pen is sophisticated, responsible, above average, detail orientated, and has a taste for the finer things in life. It could also show a persons wealth and education level. I mean who knew you can learn so much about someone just by a pen. 

I'm sure any field agent or covert agent would also like to admit that the Parker Jotter makes for a very good tactical pen. There's a reason James Bond was using it after all. Even if yours doesn't have C-4 in it, it can still be used as a defensive weapon. If you are not familiar with tactical pens, they are pens that double as defense weapons. They are usually made out of stainless steel or some other type of heavy metal. They are far more expensive than a Parker Jotter. Tactical pens can not be carried on commercial flights, but guess which pen is allowed?  A Parker Jotter is allowed on commercial flights, and can be carried on a plane with no suspicion. So if you find that your flight has been hijacked by terrorist. Have no fear you have your handy dandy James Bond pen with you.

Here is an example of an Uzi tactical pen. 

I admit I don't use my Parker pen everyday, but I do invest money is good pens. A pen is the most important tool to me. I use one everyday for almost every job I have ever had. Pens write laws and save lives. They really are much mightier than the sword. My personal choice for an every day pen is an Uni-Ball Signo 207 ink gel pen. I love these pens. I usually buy a large pack of them at Sam's. It's much cheaper to buy them in bulk, and I have a tendency to loose pens like crazy so that's why my Parker's sit on my desk or sit in my messenger/briefcase bag. 

If you really insist on buying an expensive pen I recommend a pen that is made by Cross. Cross makes some of the finest pens on the market. I actually own a set of these myself. They are a bit heavier than the Parker Jotters, and they actually make for a better tactical pen too. They cost around $45, and the refills are pretty pricey too. I'm actually more fond of the cheaper Parker's, because they have a clicker button on the top which makes them faster to use than the Cross's. The Cross pens usually have to be twisted to reveal the pen mechanism. I'm not going to cry if I lose my Parker, but I may shed a tear if I lost a $45 dollar Cross pen.   

Here is a photo of a Cross pen and pencil set. This set will set you back about $20 to $45, depending on where you buy them. These are classy pens, and an investment in them will last you a long time.   

 Here is the DVD of GoldenEye and a Parker Jotter pen like the one used in the movie. 

 Here is a Parker Jotter in it's current package. 

 Here is a Parker Jotter in it's current package. 

From Left to Right, we have a Cross pen, a Parker Jotter pen, and a Uni-Ball Signo 207 ink gel pen.These are my day to day pens that I prefer to use. 

FRUGAL ALERT: 

You can usually find a nice set of stainless steel luxury pens  for a few bucks at many estate sales over the nation. It's one of those "knick knack" items that every gentlemen owns. Even my own father, who's fashion sense was lost some where in the early 1980's has a nice set of Cross pens. 

A BODY LIKE BOND

THE CANVAS

      I debated with myself all day about  where to begin writing about looking good while being frugal. Since, I'm an artist I know that the most important thing about painting is that you have to prep a canvas before you can start to paint a masterpiece. You can't grab a piece of cardboard and paint a beautiful image on it and expect it to sale for hundreds of dollars. No matter how good the image is, it's still on a piece of cardboard! Your body should be a well primed and tight canvas. I realize that everybody can't look like Daniel Craig, but everyone can obtain a healthy body with some hard work and persistence. I'm not saying a fat person can't dress well, I'm just saying a well framed body will always be more aesthetically pleasing. You can throw just about any color paint on a Ferrari and it's going to look good, because it's the refined body and performance that make a Ferrari appealing not the color. 

    Your body is your canvas to the world and how you treat it and take care of it will always determine how the outside world views you. I imagine if your reading this you don't have a team of personal trainers and world class chefs at your beck and call. I imagine just affording a gym membership is almost out of the question, and a personal trainer is something only Bond villains can afford. So how do you work on this "canvas" if you can't afford it. That's the easy part. I'm about to share with you some top secret info on how to get that "Bond" body on the cheap.

High School Students 

     Join a team sport, any team sport, in high school and you will have access to the school's gym facilities for free. Take advantage of it. Sure it might cost a few bucks to participate in the team, but think of it as investing in the health of your future. Besides, you're still living with your folks so fleece them for all that you can. Just do some chores, and shut your sassy lip, and the money will flow like a river of honey. If your parents are double agents or evil fat bastards, go find some old people in your neighborhood and assist them some how. Trust me they will enjoy your help and company, and they will reward you with money or other commodities like free food. Think of them as you local "Q" branch. Who knows maybe they will teach you something that will pay in dividends in the future, or will you their vintage Aston Martin DB5.

     If your just a little unsocial villain, then I imagine you can go to a local gym and get a student discount. Often these are about half the price of a regular gym membership. Just don't go beat up little kids and steal their money to pay for your membership. Nobody likes bad guys, except beautiful women with insecurity issues.

College Students

     Hey stop checking out all the "tail" and frat boy parties, and do yourself a solid and check out your college campus. Most colleges offer a student center or rec center that has an abundance of gym equipment. The rec fees are usually included in your tuition. So take advantage of the opportunity to use the facilities. Some schools even offer martial arts classes, self defense classes, yoga, and a bounty of other classes for FREE or next to nothing. Oh yeah, and this is a great destination to meet those crafty and ever so sexy female agents. Major college campuses often have nice running tracks and running trails. So feel free to take off and run them, or run some sprints between classes. Also, most colleges have buildings and stadiums where you can run staircases for free. This is a great cardio work out, and you can always pretend you're a special agent running around campus chasing pretty women in yoga pants.

     I graduated college four years ago, and I still use my college campus all the time for my cardio work outs and scouting for future female field agents. It's free after all and you can't get anymore frugal than that. If your college doesn't have a rec center, or you have managed to piss off all the "beef heads"in the rec center, you can always use a local gym and get a student discount.

     If you live in Mobile, Alabama, the University of South Alabama has the absolute nicest rec center in the entire state of Alabama. It's quite a gem of a gym. So please take advantage of this wonderful facility. It even has a giant rockwall, in case you need to practice climbing a cliff to save a damsel in distress. Also, in Mobile the Springhill Athletic Club located in the Springhill Memorial Hospital is a very nice quiet gym with good equipment, nice employees, and excellent trainers.  
         

       
                                                   http://www.springhillathleticclub.com/



For Everybody Else

     Almost all gyms offer discount rates to prospective members. These rates are often offered a few times a year. Usually they are offered in January and June. Take advantage of these discounts, and you could save hundreds of dollars every year in membership dues. Most gyms also offer discounts to senior citizens, students, military, police officers, fire fighters, federal agents (yes, that includes spies), government employees, and school teachers. They usually don't offer those prices upfront so you will have to ask for them to get the discount. If you're feeling devious, and your employment isn't covered in the above groups, just tell the gym worker you're in the military or that your a cop. Usually people aren't dicks to soldiers or cops, and won't ask to see you badge or military I.D.

POOR POOR BASTARDS

     If you're really to poor to afford a gym, or just insist on being a cheap bastard most gyms offer a free week pass to their gym. If you live in a metropolitan area, the chances are that there is at least 10 gyms in your living area. This means you can get about ten weeks of free gym memberships. If you're feeling rather deviant and sneaky you could probably rotate those ten gyms for several months getting free passes from different gym workers.  If being a cyst on society isn't your stick, you can ask for a hardship case at your local YMCA. They offer super discounted rates for people who are poor, and in-between jobs.

Home Gyms

The problem with home gyms is that equipment is expensive and space is often a luxury you don't have if you are trying to live a frugal lifestyle. However, if you are anything like me you don't always have the time to go to a gym. I recommend owning a few pieces of gym equipment at the house. Here are my recommendations for what to buy and where to buy them for CHEAP.

1) WEIGHTS 

I recommend a small set of weights. A 5lb, a 10lb, and a 15lb. If that is too light for you than upscale to the weight you need, but no more than 3 separate sets. I don't recommend getting the ones that you add weight to. They have a tendency to slide off the bars, and bang up your floors. 

2) EXERCISE BANDS

This is a very versatile piece of equipment that can work out several muscle groups. It takes up very little space in your living quarters. This is my go to piece of equipment. When ever I'm pinched for time I'll get a few reps in with one of these. They are easy travel companions, and fit in suitcases for any kind of person who travels often. You can usually pick these up for about $8 to $12.

3) PLYOMETRIC WORKOUTS

Plyometrics is using your body for weight resistance. Things like push ups, inclined push ups, sit ups, burpees, lunges, jump lunges, box squats, power jacks, dips, planks, and plank variations, etc.  The best thing is that these are all FREE!!!! Which is why these are the absolute best work outs for frugal people. 

4) RUNNING  

All you need is running shoes, and some where to run. Map out some routes in your car and go for a run. No gym membership needed.  

OTHER FREE FUN STUFF 

Go by your local tractor repair guy or tire store and see if you can get a free GIANT tractor tire. You will need a truck to haul it, but these tires can often be picked up for free. They can weigh several pounds. The ones at my gym weigh over 150lbs. Pick them up, push them over, or drag them to get a desired work out with them. If your having a bad day you can take a hammer or sledge hammer to them and beat the tar out of them for an excellent post breakup with your ex workout. 

Your local park down the street with all the kids playground equipment is also a FREE gym if you know how to do simple work outs. I use the one down the street from my house all the time! Sure I look stupid being a grown man on a playground, but I just go there when no kids are around and have the place to myself. There is also a paved track at this park that I run sometimes. I usually do dips, pull ups, push ups, box squats, and do a circuit of playing on the monkey bars. I typically run there and then run back home. I hate being in gyms, and this particular work out is FUN for me, because it's FREE, it's OUTSIDE, and I can feel like I'm a kid again.  

WHERE TO GET YOUR EQUIPMENT CHEAP!! 

Look for this Equipment at yard sales, flea markets, and estate sales. Usually you can get them for next to nothing. If you are determined to spend money on a non used set I recommend purchasing them from TJ MAXX, MARSHALL'S, ROSS, BIG LOTS, or some other type of discount store. I know the four I just mentioned have  equipment all the time, and their prices are much much cheaper than purchasing these items from big box stores or sport stores. (I loathe Wal-Mart, and Dick's Sporting Goods, and I am determined to give them as little money as possible.) If you want more specific pieces of equipment like bench press machines, and boxing bags check out Craigslist. People are always unloading old gym equipment. Colleges often auction off their old equipment at the schools property office. 

(This bit of information is a whole article in and of itself, so I'll write about that at some other time.)

"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”

     Thank you for visiting my blog Frugal Goldfinger. I imagine you are wondering why this blog has such a silly name, and wondering what is a frugal goldfinger? I could not create a blog primarily about fashion and luxury lifestyles without referencing my original source of inspiration for dressing to impress, and becoming an international man of taste.  If you guessed, Ian Fleming's, James Bond as my source of inspiration you would be, correct. Auric Goldfinger, was the villain in the 1964 film, Goldfinger, and his character lived a life of opulence and luxury with an absolute obsession with gold.  

     I realize that outside of the luxuries of fiction, most of the people who live on this Earth can not afford to drive a car made out of gold, but we can all strive to live a comfortable life while doing our best to emulate a  James Bond film. If you are interested in becoming a poor man's  James Bond, then I recommend you continue to follow this blog. I hope that my knowledge and advice can be rewarding to my followers, and maybe one day you can find yourself wearing a well tailored suit while up-skirting  your very own Pussy Galore.