THE CANVAS
I debated with myself all day about where to begin writing about looking good while being frugal. Since, I'm an artist I know that the most important thing about painting is that you have to prep a canvas before you can start to paint a masterpiece. You can't grab a piece of cardboard and paint a beautiful image on it and expect it to sale for hundreds of dollars. No matter how good the image is, it's still on a piece of cardboard! Your body should be a well primed and tight canvas. I realize that everybody can't look like Daniel Craig, but everyone can obtain a healthy body with some hard work and persistence. I'm not saying a fat person can't dress well, I'm just saying a well framed body will always be more aesthetically pleasing. You can throw just about any color paint on a Ferrari and it's going to look good, because it's the refined body and performance that make a Ferrari appealing not the color.
Your body is your canvas to the world and how you treat it and take care of it will always determine how the outside world views you. I imagine if your reading this you don't have a team of personal trainers and world class chefs at your beck and call. I imagine just affording a gym membership is almost out of the question, and a personal trainer is something only Bond villains can afford. So how do you work on this "canvas" if you can't afford it. That's the easy part. I'm about to share with you some top secret info on how to get that "Bond" body on the cheap.
High School Students
Join a team sport, any team sport, in high school and you will have access to the school's gym facilities for free. Take advantage of it. Sure it might cost a few bucks to participate in the team, but think of it as investing in the health of your future. Besides, you're still living with your folks so fleece them for all that you can. Just do some chores, and shut your sassy lip, and the money will flow like a river of honey. If your parents are double agents or evil fat bastards, go find some old people in your neighborhood and assist them some how. Trust me they will enjoy your help and company, and they will reward you with money or other commodities like free food. Think of them as you local "Q" branch. Who knows maybe they will teach you something that will pay in dividends in the future, or will you their vintage Aston Martin DB5.
If your just a little unsocial villain, then I imagine you can go to a local gym and get a student discount. Often these are about half the price of a regular gym membership. Just don't go beat up little kids and steal their money to pay for your membership. Nobody likes bad guys, except beautiful women with insecurity issues.
College Students
Hey stop checking out all the "tail" and frat boy parties, and do yourself a solid and check out your college campus. Most colleges offer a student center or rec center that has an abundance of gym equipment. The rec fees are usually included in your tuition. So take advantage of the opportunity to use the facilities. Some schools even offer martial arts classes, self defense classes, yoga, and a bounty of other classes for FREE or next to nothing. Oh yeah, and this is a great destination to meet those crafty and ever so sexy female agents. Major college campuses often have nice running tracks and running trails. So feel free to take off and run them, or run some sprints between classes. Also, most colleges have buildings and stadiums where you can run staircases for free. This is a great cardio work out, and you can always pretend you're a special agent running around campus chasing pretty women in yoga pants.
I graduated college four years ago, and I still use my college campus all the time for my cardio work outs and scouting for future female field agents. It's free after all and you can't get anymore frugal than that. If your college doesn't have a rec center, or you have managed to piss off all the "beef heads"in the rec center, you can always use a local gym and get a student discount.
If you live in Mobile, Alabama, the University of South Alabama has the absolute nicest rec center in the entire state of Alabama. It's quite a gem of a gym. So please take advantage of this wonderful facility. It even has a giant rockwall, in case you need to practice climbing a cliff to save a damsel in distress. Also, in Mobile the Springhill Athletic Club located in the Springhill Memorial Hospital is a very nice quiet gym with good equipment, nice employees, and excellent trainers.
http://www.springhillathleticclub.com/
For Everybody Else
Almost all gyms offer discount rates to prospective members. These rates are often offered a few times a year. Usually they are offered in January and June. Take advantage of these discounts, and you could save hundreds of dollars every year in membership dues. Most gyms also offer discounts to senior citizens, students, military, police officers, fire fighters, federal agents (yes, that includes spies), government employees, and school teachers. They usually don't offer those prices upfront so you will have to ask for them to get the discount. If you're feeling devious, and your employment isn't covered in the above groups, just tell the gym worker you're in the military or that your a cop. Usually people aren't dicks to soldiers or cops, and won't ask to see you badge or military I.D.
POOR POOR BASTARDS
If you're really to poor to afford a gym, or just insist on being a cheap bastard most gyms offer a free week pass to their gym. If you live in a metropolitan area, the chances are that there is at least 10 gyms in your living area. This means you can get about ten weeks of free gym memberships. If you're feeling rather deviant and sneaky you could probably rotate those ten gyms for several months getting free passes from different gym workers. If being a cyst on society isn't your stick, you can ask for a hardship case at your local YMCA. They offer super discounted rates for people who are poor, and in-between jobs.
Home Gyms
The problem with home gyms is that equipment is expensive and space is often a luxury you don't have if you are trying to live a frugal lifestyle. However, if you are anything like me you don't always have the time to go to a gym. I recommend owning a few pieces of gym equipment at the house. Here are my recommendations for what to buy and where to buy them for CHEAP.
1) WEIGHTS
I recommend a small set of weights. A 5lb, a 10lb, and a 15lb. If that is too light for you than upscale to the weight you need, but no more than 3 separate sets. I don't recommend getting the ones that you add weight to. They have a tendency to slide off the bars, and bang up your floors.
2) EXERCISE BANDS
This is a very versatile piece of equipment that can work out several muscle groups. It takes up very little space in your living quarters. This is my go to piece of equipment. When ever I'm pinched for time I'll get a few reps in with one of these. They are easy travel companions, and fit in suitcases for any kind of person who travels often. You can usually pick these up for about $8 to $12.
3) PLYOMETRIC WORKOUTS
Plyometrics is using your body for weight resistance. Things like push ups, inclined push ups, sit ups, burpees, lunges, jump lunges, box squats, power jacks, dips, planks, and plank variations, etc. The best thing is that these are all FREE!!!! Which is why these are the absolute best work outs for frugal people.
4) RUNNING
All you need is running shoes, and some where to run. Map out some routes in your car and go for a run. No gym membership needed.
OTHER FREE FUN STUFF
Go by your local tractor repair guy or tire store and see if you can get a free GIANT tractor tire. You will need a truck to haul it, but these tires can often be picked up for free. They can weigh several pounds. The ones at my gym weigh over 150lbs. Pick them up, push them over, or drag them to get a desired work out with them. If your having a bad day you can take a hammer or sledge hammer to them and beat the tar out of them for an excellent post breakup with your ex workout.
Your local park down the street with all the kids playground equipment is also a FREE gym if you know how to do simple work outs. I use the one down the street from my house all the time! Sure I look stupid being a grown man on a playground, but I just go there when no kids are around and have the place to myself. There is also a paved track at this park that I run sometimes. I usually do dips, pull ups, push ups, box squats, and do a circuit of playing on the monkey bars. I typically run there and then run back home. I hate being in gyms, and this particular work out is FUN for me, because it's FREE, it's OUTSIDE, and I can feel like I'm a kid again.
WHERE TO GET YOUR EQUIPMENT CHEAP!!
Look for this Equipment at yard sales, flea markets, and estate sales. Usually you can get them for next to nothing. If you are determined to spend money on a non used set I recommend purchasing them from TJ MAXX, MARSHALL'S, ROSS, BIG LOTS, or some other type of discount store. I know the four I just mentioned have equipment all the time, and their prices are much much cheaper than purchasing these items from big box stores or sport stores. (I loathe Wal-Mart, and Dick's Sporting Goods, and I am determined to give them as little money as possible.) If you want more specific pieces of equipment like bench press machines, and boxing bags check out Craigslist. People are always unloading old gym equipment. Colleges often auction off their old equipment at the schools property office.
(This bit of information is a whole article in and of itself, so I'll write about that at some other time.)
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